Ok, now I have a partial flu. Cold. I took Zigg lozenges and it's like a cold a week later. Meaning I didn't get all the stuffy head, coughing stuff. I got up at 1pm though after going to bed around 10. I notice after being sick with chronic fatigue and stuff that I get drained a lot from just a cold or something. I get drained a lot, period. The doctor put me on a med hoping it would help the fatigue and it has. I am having more and more energy blasts through the day.
Lately he and I are having problems. I have to say it's because I'm sensitive. I am. I feel like if I knew how he felt about me, I would feel less insecure about him and I. In other places in my life I feel secure. I feel like a good mom and all that shit. Just in his in my relationship I'm insecure. And I'm insecure with my body. I don't know. If you know how someone feels about you, you don't have to guess or try to read. I try to figure it out. That's just the way I am. Like some people, I will assume the worst and be much happier if it isn't bad news. I try to not read the situation, but it's hard when you don't hear something like "I miss you" or "You're cool" or "You look pretty today" or "I love touching you" or something. I assume if I don't hear those things, I am unappealing. The wrong way to be? I think so.
My first husband was fucked in the way he was with sex and disrespectful towards me, but I never had to guess how he felt about how I looked. BUT I was told I was good only for sex. A number of times. That is the wrong way to be. If you hear it enough, you start to wonder. I've always liked sex and being sexual and have been that way for a long time. I know that's not all there is.
Anyway, I'm boring-er than hell these days.
We haven't had sex a lot lately and I like it. Because afterwards it's about the only time I get to lie down with him and just be.
Fuck. I'm fucked.
Nothing to read here...keep moving people...nothing to read....