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dude, where's my boy?

2004-03-06 at 2:07 p.m.

It's hard to start this diary thing over. A friend asked me if I stopped writing because he read my diary. It wasn't obvious to me, but I know that's why I stopped. I didn't want to start a new one but now that I have, I want to write in it again. I think I'll give up the other diaries and have this one. That way I can bitch about the husband sex life and bitch about mother in law in one easy diary!

Fuck if I'm not horny as hell. I just watched sex in the city for the first time and it got me thinking about sex again. Which, really, when I think about it, is what I was thinking about before I started watching the first episode of sex in the city.

I keep mulling this over. Why does he get me off when there hasn't been anyone else that has? He can get inside me and his dick can be so fucking hard and long, but the actual skin around the hardness is soft and ...how do I say this....almost loose so that I get this ...I just try not to jump out of my skin. And then he'll go down on me and it's all I can do to not crawl up the walls. He doesn't seem to get bored. And when he's done swirling his tongue around my clit, he fucks the hell out of me. Just the way I want it.

It's hard not to be addicted to what he gives. It's hard to not be around him, period. When he's away, I just want him. When I'm with him, all I want to do is be next to him, on his lap or doing something just so that I can have an excuse to sit on his lap.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

And fuck. It's crazy. He fucks me and I'm out of my mind until he fucks me again. And how much is too much to say to him without him worrying that I'm obsessed? Fuck. If I were obsessed in a bad way...well, it would be obvious. And I don't think about him all the time. Just when I think about him.

Did that just make sense? Fuck. I feel so much better now that I'm starting this over. If I get a supergold so that my comments can come back to life, I'll do it on my own account and not his. That way, less chance of him seeing it on paypal right? What else can I do to protect it? I dont' want to password it. I just don't. May write in the others just so he doesn't go looking.

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