I think he and I have squished 10 years of marriage stress into 4 1/2 years of being together. There's been a lot.
A lot of financial. This is harder to write about. We have a Ch. 13. It means that we pay everything back. We had shitty credit anyway so I figured it's going to be shitty for a while. I read up on Ch. 13 and basically it wasn't any worse than what we were going through. We are actually protected from the creditors. We've been on the program for almost 2 years and we'll be paid off in another.
We've had a baby. We didn't wait around. Or rather, I didn't wait around. I basically wanted to do it before I got older. We didn't really have any time to be by ourselves. We had some. Not much. I met him. We got married a year and a half later. Maybe it was just a year later. Yeah, because I met him around April and then Sept. came and went and then the next Sept. we were married.
We moved 3 times.
We had legal shit with former asshole husband. About their school and daycare. Basically he had to pay money out for daycare. It's always money with him.
I got sick. Mystery illness.
I got pregnant last February or March. Had an abortion. I don't know why it keeps popping up.
I'm really not wanting to hold the abortion over his head. He really pushed for it. I love babies. I can't believe I even went through with it. Even though I know it was the right decision. How can that be a right decision. Get over it. How? How the hell do you get over that? How do you move on? Anyway got ideas? I'd love some. He thinks I'm holding it over his head. I know I'm still fucked in the head about it. I don't hold it over his head and bring it up every time he's mad at me for something.
Yesterday he and I had a big blow out. Out of respect for him, I won't write about it. It was all my doing. No question about it. I don't think he wants me writing about it. That was what he indicated yesterday.
Anyway. I feel sick and am going to lie down.